For one Parisien mother of four, the options for herself and her family in the years to come were already clear. She spends much of her time organising and planning ahead to secure a smooth future for herself and her family. But what about the present? What about today? If today's future will one day be our present, do we have room to appreciate what we have already worked hard to achieve? For our efficient, hard-working and clutter free Parisien mother, this was a powerful realisation, as she came to terms with the challenge of 'being in the moment' to appreciate the present. Planning for the future doubtless has its rewards. In this instance though, the price being paid suddenly apeared to be too high and what was left was an appreciation of the present.

'The past is history, the future is a mystery and
today is a gift which is why its called the present'

At lunchtime, we gathered in the marquee to hear our Parisien mum 'Sing for Fun' with a group from another course, which she had also attended during the week. Her beaming smile was evident. She was 'in the moment' singing for her life and all it had bought her.

On my return home from Marlborough, I wasn't sure what to expect, having left my husband in the care of our two children for the week. As I walked in, I heard the cricket on the radio and then saw the three of them making apple pie. Our eldest son was rolling out the pastry while the youngest sorted the 'goodies' from the 'baddies' amongst the apples, cores and peelings, picked earlier from the garden. For once I was thankful that my husband lives in the present, even if it does mean I have to organise everything beyond lunchtime on any given day. I don't know who won the cricket but the apple pie was delicious.

'Co-operation rather than confrontation'.

'The national interest rather than party interest.' (David Cameron)

Finally!

Is politics about to become interesting? Has the government at last come around to our way of thinking? Will it last I wonder? How will we (and they) measure the success of a coalition government? Even if the two leaders hold it together, will the other cabinet ministers and other party members follow?

Earlier this week I joined the Newbury Coaching Circle at a seminar on Paradox Coaching. Pat Hutchinson and David Molden from Quadrant 1 International explored the idea that two seemingly opposed forces can combine to yield greater results. The ancient Chinese symbol of ying yang was used to represent the contrary forces which despite being polar, cannot exist without eachother. They are not completely white and not completely black. This was described as the 'genius of the and rather than the tynranny of the or'.

The most successful high achievers I know (not all high achievers consider themselves successful) are those who have maintained a degree of humility despite their success and with no out-right winner of the election, the 'loosers' have had to 'comprimise'. This requires a degree of humility otherwise absent from incumbrant prime ministers. It requires more than one pair of eyes to look at the 'genius of the and rather than the tyranny of the or'. It offers a flexible approach to addressing change and reminded me of the story of the man who walks down a street to find another man searching under a street lamp. He enquires what he's looking for. 'My keys' says the first man. 'I'll help you look' offers the second. A few minutes later with no keys in sight, the second man asks 'where did you loose them?' 'on the other side of the street' says the first man 'but there's more light over here'.

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Riding as a professional jockey for 7 years, taught me a lot about dismounting horses which were effectively 'dead'. They didn't win, they were never going to win and they certainly weren't going to enhance the career of any jockey. Where expectation of a racehorse's potential is high, perseverance often overcomes common sense as trainers of 'dead' horses continue to find 'bad enough' races in which they may be sighted. As it costs just as much to train a bad horse as it does a good horse, little is achieved until a decision is taken to retire these horses and re-train them for another, more suitable role.

In her book

Ladies........If Your Horse is Dead - DISMOUNT!
Lyn McDonald uses this analogy to tell the stories of women who recognise their 'dead horses' (their own self limiting beliefs) and who find the courage to discover a 'thoroughbred' to take them in the direction they really want to go. A dead horse is not our dead-end relationship or our dead-end job but a mindset we need to let go of in order to grow and prosper.

So why are we so reluctant to dismount our dead horses? We cling onto what we know because its comfortable, even though its not what we want. 'Better the devil we know'. This is the most common reason for sitting on a dead horse.